Unsubscribed

Have you ever just wanted to unsubscribe - from like - everything?

Well I mean everything that either doesn’t make sense to me or feels like I’m wasting my precious time.

Maybe it’s an over fifty thing.

Lately I’ve been feeling and holding the tension of the opposites big time.

Have you ever just wanted to unsubscribe - from like - everything? Well I mean everything that either doesn’t make sense to me or feels like I’m wasting my precious time.

Maybe it’s an over fifty thing. Whatever it is - it’s coming in strong.

Oh it’s definitely the force of menopause - the sacred pause - that seriously cannot be bothered with anything that even remotely seems irrelevant to the vision, mission and purpose of my life.

Of course I’m not 100% sure what that is exactly - not in a way that could be articulated in words but it is damn sure felt and known quite clearly in my inner knowing.

Aha. There’s that opposites thing.

It is crystal clear in one realm, incubating where I can feel it in a very palpable way and yet I stumble and tussle with how to bring it into form - even though I know my body and soul already knows.

One word comes to mind.

Trust.

Life comes in Divine time, not my own version of what I think that looks like.

That’s it. Menopause is a long birth.

All there is to do is trust holy the process.

I’ve been here before, and yet I haven’t.

Lately I feel like I want to connect with my people, with the women whose support, wisdom and love is felt and known - and yet, I am pulled to hibernation, solitude and deep rest.

I am filled with ideas, novels, songs, poems, essays - dreams of travels and events - and yet I feel most drawn to the cozy sofa with down feathered pillows, fuzzy blankets and a hot cup of earl grey with milk and honey.

I relish in the joy of supporting other women through my work and I have lost momentum and inspiration to reach out.

I’m on a perpetual do not disturb.

I’ve been enjoying sharing my poetry and musings through my newsletter Morning Poet - gratefully and graciously receiving encouraging comments - and I struggle to be consistent as I only share when the spirit moves me.

And I have no desire to be mingling on social media - though I peek to keep up so I don’t completely lose touch.

The news? Fuggedaboutit. (transaltion - forget about it for the non Jersey folks)

Definitely can’t watch that.

In this new time, my body and soul is calling for authenticity only and Hallmark style movies. Period.

Wow. There’s not a lot of room for compromise here.

Keen discernment. Clear boundaries.

So here I am - on the blog.

Showing up somewhat randomly on a Wednesday afternoon (though not for me - I’m inspired) on my little slice of internet real estate to ramble about the current state of affairs on this menopause - sacred pause journey.

Honestly, I wish I had some of this golden insight from the women before me.

Generally, women don’t talk about menopause - except to complain about the hot flashes and say how glad they are that they don’t have to deal with the inconvenience of getting a period.

I have brought it up wanting to know - what it’s like.

Oh, I’m over that - is pretty much the conversation.

That’s not enough.

I want more, so I’m bringing it.

I’m that girl who climbed up onto the ledge of the couch and balanced on my tippy toes to pull Our Bodies, Ourselves down from the top shelf when I was seven. I wanted to know about my body. - still do.

I’m the one who’s living in it. It matters.

So I’ve been on a quest to know.

I’m bringing the conversation that I want to have around this monumental rite of passage for women that barely gets talked about except for how to fix us.

It’s time to elevate the status of women, our bodies, our wombs and the sacred life giving, life affirming power we hold.

I’m tired. We’re tired.

Do you know how much energy it takes to hold back our beauty and brilliance?

Yes - we have been conditioned to do this. I’m breaking the pattern.

Fortunately there are other women who feel this way too. Maybe you’re one of them.

It’s time for celebration!

This month November 2022 (now last November) I have graduated from Red School’s Menstruality Leadership Program.

Soon I will be officially certified as Menstruality Mentor adding a whole new level of depth and breadth to my work and the way I can serve women to activate and embody their Divine Feminine Leadership.

Holy yes!

Now I want to know.

What are your thoughts on the menstruality and menopause conversation?

How are you navigating this territory and these conversations?

Do you find the current narrative as limiting as I do?

Do you long for a more elevated and embodied conversation that honors your whole experience?

Are you feeling all the opposites too?

In Daring to Rest - holding opposites is part of the practice which has helped me tremendously to stay intact on this unpredictable journey.

It is a fundamental part of yoga nidra which helps us to develop our stamina and cultivate resilience.

I share a bit more in the next installment - PERMISSION.